Incidentals
by Wherein
Summary: A series of Parental! RoyEd drabbles. The importance of incidental things. Rated T for language and possible gore.
1. Laces

Author's note: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist!

Laces

"I don't see why I have to go." Ed grumbled as he rounded the corner of the dorm's dressing room, tugging awkwardly at his white dress uniform.

"Because, Fullmetal, you're a State Alchemist." Roy replied simply. "You have certain obligations at these formal events to represent the military, just like the rest of us." Roy pulled on his customary white ignition gloves and adjusted his shirt collar in the mirror as he spoke.

"Why do I get the feeling you enjoy showing off at these stupid things?"

"Hm. Well, the ladies do like a man in dress uniform. And I can hear your eyes rolling, Fullmetal."

Ed thumped down in a chair and leaned his head in his hand sulkily. He may be under orders from the Fuhrer himself to attend the gala tonight, but not even God could make him enjoy it.

"Besides," Roy clipped his silver State Alchemist pocket watch to the decorative display loop on his belt, "someday you are going to have to learn politics, so you might as well start now."

"Yeah, yeah. When you're done preening I'm ready to go."

"What's that?"

Ed looked up to see Roy facing him and gazing at his shoes.

"My shoes. What's wrong with them?" Ed challenged.

"Nothing's wrong with the shoes themselves, but why are they tied like that?" Roy pointed. Ed's dress shoes were appropriate enough, but tied in a way to suggest their occupant was a mentally challenged sailor of some sort rather than an alchemist. The bows, if you could call them that, were lumpy, large, and awkward.

"Tied like what?" Ed could feel the blush creep into his face as he crossed his arms and pointedly avoided the Colonel's gaze.

"Hasn't anyone…? Never mind." Roy kicked himself mentally. Of course given the death of his mother and absence of his father, Ed might've never learned to tie his own shoes properly, despite the fact that he was nearing 15. He always wore those slip-on clunky boots of his.

"Listen, can we get going already-" To Ed's utter astonishment, Colonel Roy Mustang bent down on one knee in front of him and began to undo and redo his left shoelace.

"Watch, now." Roy said as he demonstrated tying a simple bow slowly. But Ed's mind had been forcefully yanked far away to a distant place and time by Mustang's simple gesture. Fleeting images of his younger self, maybe five or six, sitting in his old house on a carved wooden stool before a man with a long golden ponytail flashed before his eyes. He remembered the man with the ponytail bent down on one knee, tying his little shoe. Ed felt another blush try to rise to his face, but he wasn't quite sure why.

"Got it? Now do the other one." Mustang said.

Wordlessly, Ed undid the bulbous knot on his right shoe and began to tie it in the way the Colonel had showed him. He wasn't even sure why he complied, he had been moving before he had even thought about it.

"I know these things aren't fun for you, Ed," Roy began, watching Ed's fingers work at the laces, "but like it or not, you've got to try to learn some…_finesse_ when it comes to dealing with situations and people you don't like. Used in the right way, this kind of skill can even be a weapon, and it might make things easier for you down the line. Not to mention for me as your commanding officer."

Ed pulled the more refined bow tight. Roy smiled.

"Good."

"I'm the youngest Alchemist to ever pass the State Exam, Colonel," Ed huffed, "I think I can manage to tie my shoes right after only one demonstration. I'm not a toddler."

"No," Roy straightened, "You most certainly aren't." Roy watched the uniformed teen get up and was surprised, as he often was, by a sneaky feeling of pride flaring from somewhere unknown within his chest. His face however, retained its carefully neutral expression. "Despite the fact that you're just as tiny as one."

"Shut up, Colonel. And for your information, I have plenty of practice dealing with people I don't like." Ed said airily as he left the room, but Roy noted a lack of the usual vehemence in the younger man's voice. Maybe tonight would go smoothly after all.


	2. Steam

Steam

It was the time of year when the steam from the train engines fogged up the windows in the passenger cars. Colonel Mustang wiped the condensation off the glass near his face, more to keep awake by focusing on the passing countryside than out of any real interest. He yawned. The previous week had been long and tiresome, not in the least improved by the barely consensual cooperation of the young, blonde alchemist currently snoring on the seat opposite.

Yes, Fullmetal was finally, _blissfully _asleep. It was no wonder Edward was tired; he had spent nearly the entire time arguing with Mustang's every instruction. Worse, these mandatory paired missions tended to make the teen even more reckless than usual, anxious as he always was to return to Central and his brother to start looking for the Philosopher's Stone again. The Colonel had spent half his time chasing after him and after seven long days he felt like he would need a vacation twice as long to recover.

But Mustang knew there would be no respite in Central.

Ed stirred in his sleep, grumbling something that sounded vaguely like an obscenity. Mustang wasn't surprised; Ed fought everyone and everything while he was awake, why should sleep be different? After a few more moments, Ed awoke to the slow, rocking motion of the train. He sat up, stretched, looked out the window, and scowled.

"Aren't we there, yet?" He grouched, folding his arms across his chest.

"Another two hours, at least." Mustang replied, unable to hide his own displeasure at the thought. Fullmetal sighed and set to squirming around in his seat, alternatively board between observing the other passengers and the grey farmland rolling past the window.

"Great. Another two hours stuck in a train with you."

"At least you're short enough to lie down on the seats, Fullmetal." Roy intoned, unable to stifle a yawn.

Ed flushed and would have gotten right into the Colonel's face with a comeback had Mustang not seemed so unusually disinterested in his reaction, choosing instead to stare out the window with his chin in his hand.

"Didn't you sleep?" Ed asked.

"There have been reports Scar's been sighted near Central Amestris, but we can't be sure at this point. The city's too hot, so we suspect he's trying to stay low either on the outskirts or in the countryside."

Ed looked out the window, too, as if expecting the serial alchemist killer to appear over the next hill. The pitter-patter of rain began to fall lightly on the roof of the train, trickling down as wind-whipped ribbons of water flowing against the Colonel's reflection in the glass. In this way they seemed to deepen the lines of worry already on Mustang's face. Mustang mentally ticked the weather off as yet another element against them, on top of being bone-tired.

Ed knew that the rain would not quite incapacitate, but severely hamper Mustang's ability to use his flame alchemy in battle, and it was then he felt a hot pang of annoyance with the Colonel. Why hadn't the idiot slept yet? Did he think Ed was incapable of taking care of himself should something happen, like Scar attacking the train? And then his annoyance quickly began to get muddled into something far less comfortable: guilt. Mustang had let him sleep while he had stayed awake, on watch. Of course, Ed hadn't asked him to, but it didn't change the fact. The guilt only served to make the temperamental teen more annoyed, and his feelings chased each other around in the pit of his stomach.

Sidelong, Roy observed the younger alchemist cross and un-cross his legs, drum his fingers on the seat, and shift positions at least six times before he entertained a fantasy of welding the boy's metal arm and leg to the seat. Another five minutes of Ed's incessant squirming passed before Roy thought he was going to lose his mind.

"Can't you sit still for more than ten seconds at a time, Fullmetal?" He snapped. A slow grin spread across Ed's face.

"What's the matter, old man, getting tired just watching me?"

Roy narrowed his eyes at Ed, who just sat with his arms crossed grinning like the devil. Why did he have to choose now to be a particular pain in the ass?

"You know, I think I've figured it out. " Ed's grin grew wider. "The reason you always make fun of me is that you're jealous of my youth." Ed declared. Roy's chin actually slipped out of his hand. Ed leaned back and stretched his arms behind his head. "Pretty soon all those idiot women you date will start ignoring you."

"I've never heard anything more ridiculous!" Roy blurted. Ed just stared at the ceiling and grinned. Roy could've slapped himself upside the head. Fullmetal was baiting him and he fell for it faster than a gullible child. He really must be tired.

"Who're you calling old man, shrimp?" Roy retorted. Ed yawned.

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Good one. You know, it's no wonder I have to save your ass all the time. You're comebacks are as uncreative as your alchemy." Ed smirked.

"That's rich. I can't even count the number of times I've bailed you out of trouble. 'Ohhh help me, Flame Alchemist! I'm so small I have a pea-sized brain and I've been captured! Please come help me!'"

Other passengers in their car had begun to watch, mesmerized by the sight of two military men tearing into each other like a couple of kids. Ed stood up.

"Oh yeah? I'm the youngest alchemist to ever pass the State Exam. How old were you when you passed? Fourty-two? Aren't you supposed to be _retiring _soon?"

"At least I wasn't a snot-nosed, arrogant kid barely out of my diapers who showed up thinking he was God's gift to Alchemy, who has _no_ regard for the rules or any form of authority."

"At least I'm not a pompous, self-absorbed, womanizing, lazy ass of a Colonel!" Ed glowered. Roy stood up.

"At least I'm not a miniscule, short-tempered, stubby-legged, reckless little pipsqueak!" He shouted triumphantly. Roy and Ed glowered dangerously at each other, but where there had been only worry before, the Colonel now wore a smirk. Ed "humphed," plopped down, and pulled out a book, daring the Colonel to bother him. Roy sat down and let out a satisfied exhale. Now that he thought about it, in fact, this was probably the best he had felt all week. Ten minutes or so later, Mustang had drifted off, leaning against his fogged-up window as their train snaked along the countryside, billowing steam.

Ed stayed awake the rest of the ride back to Central, an unashamedly pleased little smile on his face.


End file.
